July 30, 2006

I know I am an emotional eater!

Posted in Doritos, eating habits, Food at 1:33 pm by way2much

AARRGGGHHH

OK – That really didn’t make me feel any better since I just typed it and didn’t actually scream it out loud.

I am so aggravated – I can’t even put into words how I feel.

My kids are fighting like cats and dogs.  I only have two but they can really get under your skin.  It is my son’s first day back from camp! And already they are at it.

I did some screaming and yelling – things I swore before becoming a mom I would never do. I would speak calmly and rationally and tell them they need to settle down – BULL SH[T!

I went off on them.  They are now walking around like someone died. I am frustrated beyond belief. They have been sanctioned to their rooms and they are required to work on their own until I can see floor!

My husband says that I should beat them! We had decided we would spank our children but not beat them or do further physical punishments. But, I just threatened pouring a bottle of soap down my lovely 11 year old daughter’s throat if her attitude did not stop!

My husband would never lift a hand to them.  I am not a person who believes a child should not be spanked – I believe some should be severely beaten (oohh the political incorrectness this post possesses). I do not think disciplining a child is abuse.  Going off on them and leaving marks, scars and bruises, whether physical or emotional is abuse.  A smack on their a$$ or grabbing of the arm is not bad.  I will not get into whether or not it works – it does for me and that is all that matters. I feel a lot better – especially if I finish off with a bag of Doritos!

All kidding aside. I am not hungry, I am actually a 7 on the hunger scale, but sitting at the kitchen table trying to regain my composure, I almost automatically got up to rummage through the pantry and refrigerator to put something in my mouth.  I would have stuffed my mouth until I calmed down.  But instead – I sat at the table, got sick of the idea that crossed my mind and took a few deep breaths. I have a cup of cold strawberry-kiwi lemonade and I took a sip of that instead. It tasted good and refreshing.

Now I must oversee the organizing that is supposed to be happening. But first I will lie down a bit  – as this whole episode got me completely exhausted.

July 24, 2006

Sunday’s Meals/Activities

Posted in Doritos, exercise, Food, Meals/Activities at 1:25 pm by way2much

Exercise: did my morning stretches

Breakfast: had half bagel with cream cheese (w/peppers and who knows – but it was good!)

Lunch: &  Dinner: were somewhat combined. 

  • roll with ham and Swiss cheese.
  • topped with pickled eggplant and zucchini flowers.
  • 1/2 packet of mayo
  • 3 pieces (small) southern fried chicken
  • macaroni salad (made with mayo)
  • another type macaroni salad (made with oil dressing)

Dessert: sliver of Whiskey cake that my mom baked for my birthday!

Snacks:

  • 3-4 Doritos – I swear that was all!
  • same amount of Baked cheddar and sour cream potato chips

Drinks:

  • 10 ounces homemade red wine – halfway through my cousin splashed in some mountain dew assuring me it would be better and not that potent!
  • can of diet coke
  • (went to friend’s in evening and had a bottle of Corona lite with a few potato chips)

Activities:

  • It was the annual St. Anne’s picnic – I got there late (as usual) and missed breakfast and mass. Once I arrived (after noon) I was starving so I had 1/2 bagel.  We played bocce, which was  strenuous to a certain degree!  (We came in 2nd place and won $10 each!) We also walked the park and went into the Shrine’s gift shop.  I was breathing heavy – Kat was laughing! – so I must have exercised a decent amount!  The walk may have totaled 3/4 mile (pathetic – I know!)

 I did not do my evening stretches.

July 20, 2006

I Am Obsessed with Weighing Myself

Posted in Doritos, weight at 11:33 pm by way2much

I can’t help it.

I pass the scale and I must step on.  Every once in a while I catch my husband watching me just as I sigh and roll my eyes. He quickly looks away. He doesn’t want to get involved – he knows better!

I don’t know what it is. But I noticed that I have been gaining about 5 -10 pounds a month. I have to stop this pattern. What I really need to do is throw the damn scale out! I weigh myself 2 or 3 times a day, sometimes even more.

I decided I will post my weight on Tuesdays, since that is the day of the week that I started my “program”. I thought about Fridays but that is too soon.  I thought about Mondays but that follows the weekend and I don’t think I have to explain that – do I?

So I will try not to weigh myself every-time I pass the scale – perhaps I should put it away. That may help. Well it is just before midnight on my third day (I just weighed myself!). I won’t say what it reads but after a full day of eating – the scale does not reach the 180 mark – so that is a good sign!

And not to gross anyone out – especially my male readers – but I am nearing that time in my monthly cycle when I usually tack on a few pounds temporarily during that week – could be due to the succumbing of a certain cheesy craving I get at that time!

Thursday’s Meal/Activities

Posted in Doritos, exercise, Food, herniated disc, Meals/Activities, Uncategorized at 1:10 pm by way2much

Breakfast:

1 cup plain oatmeal

16 ounce iced-coffee with 1 tbsp. hazelnut cream (35 calories)

Lunch: thinking of having 1 cup of plain yogurt with 1/2 cup fiber one cereal (for the crunch factor & added fiber!)

Dinner: I hate meal planning – I have no idea what to have!Still have no idea – while my daughter is munching on Doritos! I prepared a salad with lite – vinaigrette dressing. (maybe I will have a handful of chips – I may cave.)

Snacks:

  • I succumbed to my craving and the smell of the cheese from the bag of Doritos my daughter was enjoying! I had 4 handfuls which may amount to 3 servings – which isn’t so good (well it was delicious, but that isn’t what I am talking about).
  • Made my daughter a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I was at 4 on the scale – so I made myself a small (1 slice) sandwich with just a smear of pb. and some jelly.  I had pickle on the side (NO – I am not pregnant!)

I drank about 36 ounces of water.

Exercise:

Did my stretching in the morning – My legs are extremely tight. I am in a bit of pain. My right ankle is burning – sign that my disc may be compressing on my nerve. I will have to up my stretching to once in the morning and once in the evening.

Still looking for other exercise that will NOT aggravate my back.

July 19, 2006

Second Day Update!

Posted in Doritos, family support, Food, thyroid, Updates at 12:37 pm by way2much

So far I am doing decently, but it is just the second day of the rest of my life!

I just finished a long conversation with my mom and I realized that my husband never compliments me. On the other hand, he never puts me down either. Don’t get me wrong he does mention that I can do without the food I put in my mouth. He will say something like, “You are only eating that because someone else is” or “You are just eating that because it is here” or “You just have no will power, do you?” He never says it to be degrading, but the mere fact that he points these things out is frustrating to me. But to be honest, I guess I get more upset because the truth hurts. I deny it and tell him he is an ass,  but deep down I know it to be true. Except for Doritos.  I will travel to the ends of the Earth just for a bag of Doritos. But the other things I eat, I consume just because someone else is and they make it look so good!

So I have to be conscious of what I am doing and not grab at food just because I am at a party or meeting or socializing at the pool and everyone else is indulging. I need to work on my will-power.  That is where I struggle. 

So far today I only had a slice of ham and a slice of Swiss cheese rolled up.  I was making my daughter lunch and I had nothing to eat all day – since I was on phone with my mother for a few hours. (These conversations happen sometimes!) Not sure how I will post my meals, whether I should update as the day goes on or save to post it at night. But I do need to document everything. My mother still insists I have a thyroid problem.  (I shrug – who knows).